Kevin Federline to present Kid’s Choice Awards

K-Fed?!?! Holy crap, why didn’t they just get a crackwhore? I know one who’d do it for an 8-ball and some change and she’s sure to be a more suitable presenter. It’s kids. KIDS. Why are you asking a man who’s only defining career move is moving in on Britney Spears and sucking her dry, like some kind of hobo-leech. A man who wouldn’t look out of place at an AA meeting admitting to drinking his own vomit to see if he could get a buzz. A man who thought it was OK to wear flip flops and fucking toe socks TOGETHER. Seriously, not a good idea. What are you gonna do when he breaks off into some kind of horrible monologue? Or has some sort of drug induced flashback, or tries to stare down a winner’s top, which he almost certainly will. What then, Nickelodeon? Do you really want a host who will reduce Amanda Bynes to tears when he asks if it’s true she’s a dude, and if she isn’t does she want to meet in the parking lot because he can totally blow this shit off if there’s something she wants to blow, heheheh. Do you?!?!

I didn’t think so.