Glitter (A Review)

Glitter (2001)

Directed by
Vondie Curtis-Hall (What did the human race ever do to you?!)

I’ll be frank. This is the most horrible movie I’ve ever seen.
Including the beheading video currently being passed around on rotten.com. It was horrible. Horrific. If Mariah Carey had just come into the screening room and smeared her piping hot feces over a blank screen it would have been less shit than this movie. Calling this movie shit is like calling the holocaust ‘a shame’. There simply isn’t a word in the English Language strong enough to describe how much I hated this vile, putrid, festering tableau of horror. It was like catching your dad beating off to lemonparty.org but on a grander scale. They’re both mentally scarring and they will both come back to haunt you one day causing you to collapse in a fit of screaming flashbacks while sitting down to dinner with a lady friend or waiting in line at the supermarket. Describing the ‘plot’ would be an insult to you and a waste of your time.
Mariah Carey needs death like I need retribution. If you worked on the movie and would like to give me back the £5.00 I spent (yes, I PAID to see this), e-mail me and we’ll work something out. I might be able to purge the memory of Mariah’s banshee howl and dumb grinning face if I get the money back immediately. Thank you.

And if you are reading this and still plan on seeing this abomination, the guy dies at the end.

A suicide inducing 0/10