(Thanks Boston.com. He’s everything a girl could hope for!)
According to the superficial (via Star) John Mayer and Jennifer Aniston are totally into having kinky, sexy sex. Read on for nauseating detail;
She is having the best sex of her life with John,” a source close to the actress tells Star, “and she’s loving every minute of it.”
According to the source, the singer covers her with whipped cream, which he licks off, tickles her with feathers and uses ice cubes to give her goosebumps.
“John also likes to keep things interesting with games like role playing, which is new for Jen,” says the source. “She was a little resistant at first, but now you couldn’t wipe the smile off her face if you tried.”
Another source who has slept with John agrees he knows how to have a good time between the sheets. “He was kinky and liked trying crazy positions. He loved sex and wanted it all the time.”
Excuse me while I vomit down myself. Hearing about Jennifer Aniston’s sex life is like overhearing your parents doing it. You know it probably happens, but you don’t want to think about it, ever, lest it damage your mind and you end up dribbling for pennies outside a bus station.
Also, who the fuck tells their friend ‘he uses ice cubes to give me goosebumps’? No-one, unless your name is Jasmine and you’re starring in an erotic novel.
Another source claims Vince Vaughn disapproves of the relationship and has called her, warning her off Mayer.
I hope the ‘source’ is one of the Jolie-Pitt children hanging out in a tree outside her house with a pair of binoculars and a sandwich.