(Prove me wrong, guyz. Prove me wrong.)
Last week I was strolling down Oxford Street, depressed and looking to spend $$$ in Selfridges to cheer myself up, when I noticed a horde of screaming girls standing outside the Disney Store. The Jonas Brothers were apparently (‘oh my god’) inside.
Who the fuck?
These are the Jonas Brothers. From what I could tell, based on the video clip playing repeatedly throughout the store, they are; Nick; the ‘leader’ of the group and a homosexual in deep, deep denial, Kevin; the guy who looks vaguely like Danny Devito in embryo and Joe ; a man whos nouveau art-rock, carefully sculpted, ‘party in the back! Business up front’ mullet would make that dude from AFI want to bitch slap his own stylist.
They are here in London to promote their new movie ‘Camp Rock’. They are all (apparently) virgins. They are all really into Jesus. They wear chastity rings. They performed at the MTV VMAs and requested apple juice at room temperature in their rider.
I just can’t figure out what is so appealing about these nancies. They’re not that hot. In fact they look almost aggressively asexual. I’m confused. Someone help me out here.
And Jesus Christ, do teenage girls like to scream. When they are together in a large group and their excitement reaches fever pitch, eventually they hit a frequency only dogs can hear. Just open mouths and a faint whistling sound. Trufax.
Here are some pictures from (omg omg) the Jonas Brothers’ visit.
The chosen few who made it inside.
The losers who didn’t (no SLR or vague sense of importance to use as blagging tools.)
(Taken on my iPhone because my camera died)
The fellas, looking down at us, the adoring crowd. One of them looked right at me. Apparently it was the hot one. I wasn’t sure which one the hot one was, but Billie described him to me so I guess it was him.
Lastly, I just have to point out that the Jonas Brothers’ did a Busted cover. Non ironically.