Allow 9am.

My friends, in one week, I rejoin a polite society. A society in which it is not considered proper to angrily berate someone for calling and ‘waking you up’ at 1pm. A society in which days are spent working, not watching 30 Rock and buying shoes at Primark. A society where a crudely fashioned ‘cocktail hour’ during Jeremy Kyle is not de rigueur. A society where ‘a meal’ does not consist of ‘some broken Kit-Kat’.

My friends, I am scared. I fear it will be a struggle. But a beautiful struggle it will be.