British Politics; The Fuck?

(O RLY?)

(Imagine if a monkey, was prime minister.)

OK, so I know basically nothing about the British political parties.

Since I live in Britain, that’s kind of uncool. Here is the stuff I actually do know.

I know Tony Blair** isn’t the Prime Minister anymore. And some other guy is.

I remember ages ago that one guy was running and he said he liked Arctic Monkeys and all the newspapers were like, ‘OMG politician in liking music shocker’. Maybe he thought it would get him the Shoreditch vote, but no-one was trying to fuck him or score coke, so no-one pretended to care about what music he liked. I guess that’s why he didn’t win.

Actually I don’t know if the Arctic Monkeys guy was running against the other guy I like to call ‘Mopey Joe’ (because in all of his pictures he looks like a bassethound) or if it was actually Mopey Joe who said that thing about Arctic Monkeys.

If it was Mopey Joe then Mopey Joe is pretty progressive because Mopey Joe looks like the kind of guy who thinks ‘rock ‘n roll’ promotes loose morals and only listens to Bavarian choir music whilst fantasizing over that one time at Catholic school when one of the nuns lashed his hand with a riding crop for messing up his 8 times table.

I think Mopey Joe might be the Prime Minister now, come to think of it.

I am seriously considering it because ‘I vote Conservative’ sounds way cooler than ‘I vote Labour’ tbh.

**He came to my college once to bum up to Philip Green. Dude had on so much make-up. He looked like a hooker.