Tokio Hotel make me sick to my stomach.

This video had 27 million hits. The fuck?

(SERIOUS YOUNG MEN.)

Tokio Hotel are an awful emo band that roughly 70% of the world’s teenage female population have suddenly decided to worship. You literally can’t get away from seeing these dorks’ faces on t-shirts in France.


(How many foreign objects has this man had up his ass?)

The face most frequently popping up is that of the lead singer, a lisping botched transsexual hybrid monster of a man who is apparently the band’s main selling point, maybe because despite the b@d a$$ pseudo goth eye make-up and the Christie Brinkley hair do, he doesn’t exactly scream ‘threatening in any way’. God, I just want to start shoving him around and calling him a little bitch.

Tokio Hotel came from Germany. Of course they did. First Nazism, then these douche fountains. Thanks a lot, motherfuckers. You win. OK? I’d literally rather have the Reich marching in our streets than men who look like lesbians prancing about on our stages.

Oh man, I just noticed one of them actually had the nerve to leave the house with filthy, white boy dreadlocks. He probably spends all of his time on the tour bus talking about how he is totally going to build a weed powered convertible once his dad gets off his case.

”We all came from Africa, right, brah? One love!”

Dear Tokio Hotel,
Plz hurry up and OD during one of your celebratory all-male meth orgies. OK? OK. Kisses!

Love, the human race.