Hilary Duff is a sleeping pill.

God BLESS you, Hilary Duff. I SALUTE you for trying to break away from your homogenous little Christian girl image. I LOVE when pop princesses finally realise how much profit is to be made solely on the universal appeal of their T&A. It only took about 8 years.

However, this video isn’t sexy at all. It has all the benchmarks of a totally hot video; Terry Richardson rip off cinematography, a beautiful set, vague references to the Madonna/Whore dichotomy, a rapper in a suit mumbling non-sensical gibberish.

But its still not sexy.

Like, I could watch this with one of my parents and not feel uncomfortable at all.

If say, Britney, had made this exact same video ‘back in the day’, can you imagine how long it would have been number one for? Or the sheer volume of incensed letters in the Sun beseeching a return to common decency (sandwiched in between a Keeley Hazell pull-out and a full page advertisement for bulk price viagra)?

I think its because Hilary Duff looks like such a nice person. She doesn’t have ‘the edge’. When Britney or Christina or Jessica are writhing around using thinly veiled euphemisms for getting gang-banged, it’s believable because those girls are whores. As much as I love Britney, lets face it. If she wasn’t a singer, she’d almost certainly be an active participant in the sex trade industry. You can totally imagine those girls doing the things that they are singing about. Possibly for crack.

And that’s why Hilary Duff is just not believable as a sex symbol. But BLESS HER HEART for trying.