Tweens are fucking retarded.

Apparently, due to his work in the movie ‘Twilight’, Robert Pattinson is (omg) the latest teen heartthrob to inflame the passions of screaming idiot girls the world over.

Last week, an autograph signing at a San Francisco mall was cancelled when the out-of-control crowd left at least one youngster bruised and bloodied, while a recent cast appearance at MuchMusic quickly dissolved into fandemonium, with Pattinson’s soft-spoken answers drowned out by the high-pitched sequels of 2000 girls, some of whom camped out for two days just to catch a glimpse of him.
(Source; Canada News)

WHY?

What, is it a turn-on that he actually looks like he might have downs? Is his permanent prescription drug glaze endearing? Do the girls swoon and say ‘oh my god, he looks like the sort of person who might mumble his excuses in a womanly accent, run off and leave me if we ever got attacked’?

And why this level of absolute hysteria?

In this article, the reporter noted some of the girls were scratching up their necks to make it look like they had been bitten and I’m like, seriously, guys, REALLY?

And in this article, Robert Pattinson says a 7 year old girl asked him to ‘bite her’.

Jesus Christ.

Why do tweens find the most appaling nonces so appealing? (See Zac Efron, The Jonas Brothers and the shemale from Tokio Hotel.)

This is a generation that will one day run the world.

Think about it.