The magazine is due to go bust in 2 or 3 years and thank fucking Christ for that. I tried reading an issue someone had left behind on the train yesterday. My own fault tbh.
Every time I do try reading this shit, I can literally see its milquetoast editor, with his Moby haircut and one earring, sipping his Red Stripe because its still so fucking edgy to drink in the office, carefully trying to deduce whether MGMT or No Age are ‘the new messiahs of music’.
I see a features writer slip under a conference table during an interview with Johnny Borrell, tears streaming down his face as he silently praises God for giving him the opportunity to fellate a legend.
I see a grown man searching urban dictionary for a new ‘hip’ way to say ‘wicked’.
NME is ironic obsessions with Lil’ Wayne, the damp, fetid petri dish in which nu-rave was allowed to breed, a weekly magnum opus for ignorant assholes and teenage girls. You DESERVE better reading material.
Its irrelevant trash and I have been praying for it to go belly up for years now. Help me make this dream a reality and spread the word.