Skins is the abusive husband you can’t leave.

So series 3 has been an absolute bust. When I first saw the ‘Coming soon’ trailer I was literally like;

praise-god

(Read here my misguided enthusiasm. Its kind of like going back in time and overhearing someone talk about how excited they are to  have bagged seats on the Hindenburg.)

And so even though the first 4 episodes were absolute shite, I held my tongue.

But no more. No more.

Here are my major complaints so far;

-They made Effy look like a budget goth.

-TBF Cook is definitely the most reprehensible character on British television since Trevor started smacking Little Mo around.

-Can’t decide which one of the twins to hate more, the dull whining lesbian or the whorish poser bore who always sounds like shes trying to enunciate through a mouthful of phlegm.

-Not one episode has managed to maintain a storyline without asking the viewer to completely suspend their sense of disbelief. 17 year old in a brothel? Sure, why not? Underground rave hosted by a drug lord? Could happen. Oh and hey, lets make sure one of our main characters settles a debt with said drug lord over a chilli pepper eating contest.

-The dialogue is laughably poor, S3 follows the same formula as the previous two seasons; dynamic plot, a few funny moments, sad and/or meaningful event, roll credits. But the fact that it is so badly written (not to mention the fact that the characters are so shit they are almost interchangeable) means that you are totally lost for about 45 minutes; no idea what it is meant to be funny or sad, no idea how to feel. Case in point, the scene with Cook in the sex dungeon. What the FUCK was that about?

My favourite part of the series has been when Pandora’s mum takes like 2 bites of a brownie with MD in it and passes out. But not before stripping to the music she hears in her head. Seriously, if you haven’t already, check out that episode. It literally reads like it was written by a focus group of married 40 year old office workers with erectile dysfunction, who, at the last minute, decided to throw in ‘some emotional shit for the laydeez’.

Oh and by the way Skins writers, we live in an age where a video of 2 women eating each others defecation is being passed around by 12 year olds like a wrinkled photocopy of a fake ID. Two girls kissing isn’t edgy anymore. Doubt I would bat a fucking eyelash if I saw two girls kissing in a Muller Light advert.

The worst part is the fact that it isn’t even a glamourized version of teen life. Its so far from life itself that its not even that entertaining. I don’t care about the characters at all. Not to mention, the soundtrack is aight at best, the wardrobe choices=abysmal and some of the acting is so horrible, so wooden, that you can only imagine the disgusting sexual favours that were negotiated upon casting day. JJ seems to have serious trouble portraying even a convincing human being, let alone a ‘multi-faceted’ character.

Basically the fact that I am still desperately watching is a testament to how awesome the first 2 series were.

Amy oh gosh. says: skins got worse

Ash /|\ says: shocker.

Amy oh gosh. says: i realized why this series is so bad

Amy oh gosh. says: its because none of the characters are actually likeable

Amy oh gosh. says: but its like life, you just keep sticking around to see if something good happens

5 thoughts on “Skins is the abusive husband you can’t leave.

  1. Pingback: I’m A Believer « Its like, yeah motherfucker.

  2. This season was an abomination. a hideous and disgusting abomination. lines like “lets go sell some splif” made me want to vom a bit at my telly box.

    Your blog however… amazing.

    I thought I was the only one who had lewd thoughts about Pocahontas’ name… porn mates. x

  3. Pingback: I Woz ‘Ere, TBH. « Its like, yeah motherfucker.

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