Hollywood Records can suck my dick

THE premier label for whores and sexually confused young men

THE premier label for unashamed whores and sexually confused young men.

Hollywood Records is a label imprint for the Walt Disney Company. Therefore they have a truly horrible roster of ‘stars’ like Hayden Panettiere and Vanessa Hudgens. Although I will pretty much listen to any tween piece of crap, some of this stuff is truly bone chilling. The label pretty much make their money solely on the premise that if teenagers like to see shitty actors in movies, they will LOVE hearing them sing. Unfortunately for us, this appears to be true. Basically, being an artist on Hollywood records is like being a chef at McDonalds.

Jesse McCartney-It’s Over (yeah I wish)

Views: 3,830,629

Jesse McCartney is the latest in a line of snivelling little girl singers, lisping his way through ballads about the kind of impossibly complex love and heartbreak only a 21 year old whos voice hasn’t yet properly broken, could ever hope to fathom. In this video he mopes around (as usual), enlisting the help of some black people and one of Justin Timberlake’s set designers. The song sounds like something he found whilst digging though Babyface’s trash.

Hayden Panettiere-Wake Up Call

views: 3,034,076

This is one of the most awful songs I have ever heard and I can honestly say I would rather be forced to watch someone murder and eat my family than have to listen to it again. Who the fuck wrote in a RAP for this bitch?

The Jonas Brothers-Burnin’ Up

views: 72,771,804

I wrote about the Jonas Brothers a while back. Effeminate man children with bad hair was the general gist. And my opinion of them hasn’t changed much tbh. Would wear the shit out of the middle one’s outfit though.

Footnote; Danny f’ing Trejo is in that video. Also, David Carradine, the man, the myth.

Vanessa Hudgens-Sneakernight

views: 24,364,227

Heh heh heh. I’ve seen your minge.

Insane Clown Posse-Down With The Clown (no srs)

Views: 63,792

WOOO! RAGE AGAINST THE MACHINE! ANARCHY!

Corbin Bleu-Deal With It

Views: 2,732,578

Things that are probably less painful than this video;

Vivisection sans anaesthetic

Childbirth

Having a 300 pound woman repeatedly stamp on your testicles

Licking the crotch of one of Paris Hilton’s thongs and then having to deal with whatever diseases you contract.

Miley Cyrus-7 Things

Views: 71,126,920 views

The one Hollywood Records artist I have nothing bad to say about because this song is awesome and so is Miley Cyrus. At 16 she’s already had three ‘erotic pic’ phone leaks and enjoys dating older men and racial slurs. Someone for the kids to look up to, truly.