Andy Warhol once said “I’m the type who’d be happy not going anywhere as long as I was sure I knew exactly what was happening at the places I wasn’t going to. I’m the type who’d like to sit home and watch every party that I’m invited to on a monitor in my bedroom”. Not for the first time, a homosexual dead man suffering from chronic depression, summed up exactly how I am feeling.
I find it overrated. Lately, I much prefer sitting at home watching hilarious youtube videos and eating Cinnamon Grahams from the box, than going to a club. I’m over chugging an £8 gin and tonic because the thought of talking to these people sober turns your stomach, crammed into a room where you can’t even smoke, while some dead-eyed washed up indie superstar fucks about on Serato trying to mix more unfunny, ironic ‘choons’. If I am going to venture out of my house, where there is a never ending supply of Orangina and every night is 30 Rock night, it damn well better be a pretty fucking fabulous party that I’m barely making any effort for.
I’m literally a teenage OAP.
If you are still hung up on this ‘socializing’ bullshit, I both pity and applaud you.
If, on the other hand, you have come around to my way of thinking, here are some sites and movies and such to get you started along the path to pariahdom.
Top four sites to watch movies on;
3) Watch Movies
4) TV Links
If you’re looking for some shitty obscure German movie that only four people have ever seen, youtube is, surprisingly the best place to look. There is also another totally easy way of finding good quality movies but I won’t blab.
Some shows I think are worth watching;
Summer Heights High*
Curb Your Enthusiasm
The Day Today
My So-Called Life
*The day you watch this is the day you are a man.
Movie marathon ideas*;
The ‘Pretend you’re a vaguely intelligent, cultured person and not a slackjawed dimwit who hates ‘them big books” marathon; Anything by Pedro Almodovar (do yourself a favour, srs), Akira, Chelsea Girls, La Dolce Vita, Let The Right One In, City Of God, A Clockwork Orange.
The ‘Cool looking movies that look cool (and can be name-dropped in cool conversation) marathon’; Spun, The Heart Is Deceitful Above All Things, The Rules of Attraction, Brick, Christiane F, Elephant
The ‘Teen movie stupor’ marathon; Heathers, But I’m A Cheerleader! Mean Girls, Pretty Persuasion, Cruel Intentions, Clueless, Say Anything
The ‘Life sure is quirky and ironic and so am I’ marathon; Napoleon Dynamite, Rushmore, Little Miss Sunshine, Fido, Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist
The ‘Marilyn’ Marathon; Niagara, Gentlemen Prefer Blondes, The Misfits, Bus Stop and The Girl Can’t Help It (because even though Jayne Mansfield was ‘a poor man’s Marilyn’, everyone should watch it)
The ‘Scary As Fuck!’ marathon; Quarantine, The Descent, Funny Games (US), Planet Terror, The Mist, Halloween (Rob Zombie Remake), The Shining, Martyrs, Mum and Dad
The ‘Why didn’t I pick up tonight?’ marathon; Candy, Requiem for a Dream, Scarface, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, Thirteen, Go
Or just watch as many recently released movies as you can find so you don’t have to pay to see them in the cinema*. Go nuts!
*(I do not endorse this. Srs. I swear.)
If you have a marathon idea, or a show I should be watching whilst weeping into my cupped fists on a Friday night, plz let me know. Appreciate it.