I recently got an email in which the author, who while very nice, basically implied that I am a miserable motherfucker who hates everything.
This is something I take great umbrage to. I like lots of things. I just hate a great deal more and my hatred for these things isn’t exaggerated or ironic, it is pure like a new born baby or a pristine first snow. I am hateolicious.
Nonetheless I feel that in the spirit of proving I am, in fact not a miserable motherfucker who hates everything, here are some things I do like.
I like Shutter Shades
Oh my God is there actually a sicker accessory in existence? I have them in neon pink and green, black ones for formal occasions and white ones just like the ones Kanye West has. They sell them at Primark now which is a bit shit because mine are the OFFICIAL ones. The bad thing about shutter shades is you can’t really see out of them but I don’t need to see to know how fucking SEXY I look when I’ve got them on. My dad says they make me look like Jeff Goldblum in ‘The Fly’ but he thinks that Horne and Corden is shit so I said your opinion doesn’t count. Fuck you Dad.
(Se7en. Even his name is hot!)
I like Brokencyde
People say Scrunk is just a phase. Oh my God no it fucking isn’t. I looooove Brokencyde. Sometimes I get really depressed because my mum stopped my allowance or someone thought my shutter shades came from Primark but I also feel like dancing because its the weekend and that is when Brokencyde is PERFECT to listen to. Some people say their lyrics aren’t meaningful but that’s because they haven’t taken the time to listen properly. ‘I can’t play no more games/These thoughts are slowly controlling me’. The lead singer, se7en is soooo hot. My Dad said he looks like he wiped his arse with his hair and then put it back and I got so mad.
(This picture made me lol)
I like writing poetry
Today for the first time I will put one of my poems up on my blog. Its called ‘Regret’. Hope you like it. I wrote last year after my mum found my cigarettes.
the blood is ruby red on my skin
no-one knows the real me
I am hidden in the shadows
tears pouring down my face
my soul is a dark storm
pull the trigger
i lie alone
in my torturous grave
you’ll be sorry…
they weren’t even mine…
My friends think this poem is really good and I should become a writer. I don’t know, maybe.
I like Big Brother
(I don’t really get why that man’s face, he wasn’t even on big brother)
This show is brilliant. All the people are really, really funny and funny stuff always happens. I like to watch it live on e4 in the morning sometimes when it shows them sleeping and stuff. They don’t even know I’m watching them! I heard its getting cancelled, but they can’t cancel it because its so popular. Me and my friends are going to start an online petition to keep it on the air. I want to go on it because people always say how funny I am. Sometimes I just come out with things at school like ‘I love Camden’ and everyone’s like ‘uh, random!’