Oh hey, look some more stupid shit!

On sensible decisions;

Ash /|\ says: I got my haircut today

Ash /|\ says: its quite short now. almost military like. like a serial killer

Amy oh gosh. says: better a serial killer than a potential rapist tbh

Ash /|\ says: I’d like to think I’d combine the two

Ash /|\ says: two birds with one stone

Amy oh gosh. says: i don’t even want to enter this conversation lest i accidentally find out ‘which comes first’

On bitterness;

Amy oh gosh. says: why aren’t we famous screenwriters

Ash /|\ says: because we are too lazy

Amy oh gosh. says: well, i suppose this clown blew an awful lot of editors to get where he is now

Ash /|\ says: I don’t think I’d give very good head to corporate execs

Amy oh gosh. says: ahahahaha jinx

On Groupies;

Amy oh gosh.says: are there metal groupies?

Amy oh gosh. says: the most depressing combination of words

Ash /|\ says: probably

Amy oh gosh. says: they are probably like 30 stone neo nazis

Amy oh gosh. says: who have squeezed themselves into an Evans thong that says ‘SEXY THANG’

Amy oh gosh. says: just to seduce a grown man with ass length hair wearing a leather girdle

On Pitchfork reviewers;

Amy oh gosh. says: I like to imagine this dude sauntering down the street in his skinny jeans listening to animal collective on his iPod, spotting a black guy walking towards him, raising a tiny white fist, crying ‘My BROTHER!’ and not seeing any absurdity or irony in the situation at all.

On terrible music;

Ash /|\ says: I was reading an article in Kerrang on ScreamoCrunk

Ash /|\  says: and they dont like it.

Ash /|\ says: now Screamo Crunk really must be a musical haemorrhage if Kerrang dont like it

Amy oh gosh. says: You just think, it couldn’t possibly sound worse than the name implies

Amy oh gosh.  says: when i hear ‘ScreamoCrunk’ i automatically think of the clattering cloven hooves of the horsemen of the apocalypse what about you?

Ash /|\ says: I think about jumping off a building

On vaguely backhanded compliments;

Ash /|\ says: nah I will say it and I know you wont steal it as you’re not a cunt

Amy oh gosh.  says: oh right. thanks

Amy oh gosh. says: hahaha i’m genuinely touched that you said ‘you’re not a cunt’

On being deserving of fame;

Ash /|\ says: I deserve to be more famous than zac efron. does he take afternoon slumbers?

Ash /|\ says: the answer is: no, he doesn’t, therefore he is shit

Amy oh gosh. says: he probably does tbf

Amy oh gosh. says: with his ‘trainer’ raoul

Ash /|\  says: XD

On your MUM;

Ash /|\ says: http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3332/3243831063_7cd8e295cf_o.jpg

Ash /|\  says: I wouldn’t mind if I was either of those four

Amy oh gosh. says:  who are they?

Ash /|\ says: Mr. Big

Amy oh gosh. says: they look like the kind of band that would sell their homemade CDs called ‘DADS CAN ROCK TOO’ at school craft fairs.

Ash /|\  says: your MUM looks like the kind of band that would sell their homemade CDs called ‘DADS CAN ROCK TOO’ at school craft fairs

Amy oh gosh. says: well YOUR mum looks like the kind of woman who would be a groupie for that band

On the shittiest forum in the world ever/Obvious questions;

Amy oh gosh. says: http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/showthread.php?t=800376

Amy oh gosh. says: MAYBE.

Ash /|\ says: where can I find this magical girl

Amy oh gosh. says: planned parenthood

On Movie Soundtracks;

Amy oh gosh. says: better novelty songs than i love tha pussy

Amy oh gosh. says: backdoor lover-dujour

Amy oh gosh. says: teen horniness is not a crime-sarah michelle gellar

Ash /|\ says: One Track Lover – Dr. Sanchez

Amy oh gosh. says: now we’re on obscure reference ground

Amy oh gosh.  says: that song jez did for the honda short

Ash /|\ says: XD

On poor decisions;

Ash /|\ says: http://photos-d.ak.facebook.com/photos-ak-sf2p/v153/62/47/514904004/n514904004_209487_4243.jpg he says stfu

Amy oh gosh. says: the hair says ‘i’m worthless’ but the deep tan says ‘and i might date rape your sister’

On ruining books;

Amy oh gosh. says: speaking of raping franchises where are we in the harry potter movies?

Ash /|\ says: not sure

Amy oh gosh. says: apparently number 6. i just watched the trailer and i feel like weeping. are they just intentionally fucking up every detail now?

Amy oh gosh.  says: voldemort is going to be a tall black rastafarian man

On Brilliant rulings;

Amy oh gosh. says: What a pity we live in this backwards shithole where harassment is frowned upon

Amy oh gosh. says: Russia=our superior

Ash /|\  says: if we had no sexual harassment we would have no children

Amy oh gosh. says: russia has one of the largest white supremacy followings in the world

Amy oh gosh. says: they should put these things in the tourist campaign

Ash /|\  says: please come to russia, we have lots of vodka, white supremacists and legal sexual harassment?

Ash /|\ says: brb, russia

(I wrote about people I hate for Platform you should read it part 2 coming soon!!!11oneone)

(And Charlie Brooker for I dontcareifyouwouldntiwould! Wow!)

 

 

9 thoughts on “Oh hey, look some more stupid shit!

  1. Re : 1. People who don’t wash their hands after using the bathroom

    See, i’m with you on this in theory (though i also subscribe to Don King’s philosophy of “I wash my hands BEFORE i touch my dick”) but have you ever experienced the horror of a male public toilet? There’s no way i’m touching a filthy tap in a public bog unless i have tissues on me and, alas, i occasionally find myself without them.

  2. have you tried just leaving the tap on when you exit said bathrooms? then it doesn’t matter if you hands get dirty post washing.

  3. I have to touch the tap to turn it on in the first place and that’s where the problem lies.

    Re : metal groupies :

    Unless you’re talkin’ about Motley Crue, GNR and Poison during the 1984 – 1991 hair-metal era pullin’ them permed blond L.A rock chix, this is your standard metal groupie :

  4. if you have to wash your hands anyway why does it matter?

    a strong man took that picture. a man who knew that she would, at some point lift that fan.

  5. I like to think of my forrays into public toilets as S.A.S missions where my aim is to touch as little as possible. Since i’m only there to piss (i never crap in public toilets) the only thing i need to be touching is my penis. By touching the tap handles sans tissue i’m exposing myself to extra other people’s germs/piss/shit/cum/blood which i’m trying to avoid in the first place.

    Like, water can wash away many a sin but it can’t clean whatever is on those tap handles after various filthy cack-handed peasants have touched them.

  6. Pingback: I Woz ‘Ere, TBH. « Its like, yeah motherfucker.

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