Videos on a blog. The Final Frontier

I have over 600 videos in my favourites on youtube. Here are some of my favourite favourites. Uh. Enjoy.

Yo Gabba Gabba is this fucking bad ass kid’s show that comes on Nick Jr. Its like an alt version of Sesame Street, or a subtle indoctrination scheme to turn your kids into the sort of people who only  appreciate American Apparel and irony. They’ve had people on like Amy Sedaris, Chromeo, Of Montreal, Money Mark, Jack Black, Mates Of State, The Roots and my personal favourite, because inside I am a socially awkward 13 year old boy who doesn’t understand why people keep laughing at his fedora, The Aquabats. The video above is from a section of the show when Biz Markie teaches children how to beat box. I think you should watch it. And if that doesn’t tickle you, here is Biz Markie teaching children how to beat box, wearing a cape and a felt headpiece shaped like a vampire bat. <3.

Henry Rollins on Electro and DJing. As far as I am concerned anything Henry Rollins has to say is gold anyway. Bonus; watch him beat the shit out of an overenthusiastic fan in his Black Flag days. Such a ledge.

Best. Commercial. Ever.

Needs no further introduction. Poor Reggie. Poor, poor Reggie.

NYC Prep is this reality show about rich teens at sub-standard Private Schools in New York, which I have been watching religiously. The main players are P.C (a gay guy so deep in the closet he has practically found Narnia), Jessie (his potato-faced hag hiding her obvious infatuation behind a thin veneer of blase, bitchy world-weariness), Camille, (the Dorothy Parker of the group, who may be the only person in the world more sarcastic and unnecessarily bitter than me) and Sebastian, (a slow witted young turk, solely interested in awkwardly attempting to get to second base with as many jaded, emotionally uninvested young JAP ‘socialites’ as possible, before the clock strikes midnight on his already receding hairline). It rules!

If you are into photography or film and haven’t checked out Tyler Shields, I strongly suggest you do so, some of his stuff is amazing.

The end times are apparently pretty close and should they actually happen I feel this would serve as an accurate depiction of humanity.

Lazy Edit yay! New videos! Everything must go!

Heidi Montag puts on her ‘musical artist’ hat and in a perfect impersonation of Britney circa ’03, lip syncs her way through a fairly standard pop number i.e a thinly veiled invite to her vagina (sampling Yaz no less). Par for the course these days tbh, I’m yawning into my Red Bull. But wait!

In the full length version of this song Spencer Pratt proves he is more than a coddled man child protectively swathed in Ed Hardy and delusions of grandeur by briefly attempting to rap (”Lay my eyes on a sassy pearl/Heidi Montag/Yeah, that’s my girl”). This deeply embarrassing gaff genuinely made me consider watching The Hills, despite the fact that I still can’t understand what the hell its meant to be about, in the hopes that they filmed him recording it. I can think of no better endorsement.

My friend and I are in constant disagreement about The Mars Volta. He thinks they are musical geniuses, I think they are pretentious douchebags noodling incompetently on their instruments then selling the results to stoned freshers and burnouts disguised as ‘prog rock’. I mean;

”A half mass commute through umbilical blisters
Spector will lurk
Radar has gathered
Midnight nooses from boxcar cadavers”

Seriously, what the fuck? I didn’t even deliberately look for lyrics this fucking stupid, they are from the first title I randomly clicked on. It reads like it was written by a 14 year old in a ‘YOU’RE THE WEIRD ONE’ t-shirt. Which pretty much sums up most of their efforts. Not that you can even fucking understand what the lead singer is actually saying, since he seems to consider every recorded moment wasted unless he is deeply immersed in high pitched ‘experimental’ screeching, like a cat in heat. Anyway. This is the one Mars Volta song that doesn’t make me want to drive a Bic deep into my own eardrums. This is my call for a truce. They are not all bad. Just 99.9% of the time.

And that’s the end of that chapter.

6 thoughts on “Videos on a blog. The Final Frontier

  1. “a slow witted young turk, solely interested in awkwardly attempting to get to second base with as many jaded, emotionally uninvested young JAP ’socialites’ before the clock strikes midnight on his already receding hairline” Fucking hilarious.

  2. Smooth segue with Rollins into Bad Boys 2. I hope they’re gonna have him back for Bad Boys 3 now it’s officially set to happen.

    Rollins circa Black Flag is the only man who can get away with nylon short-shorts teamed with a tea-bag vest and, i don’t care what anyone says, Slip It In is the best Flag LP.

    • Henry Rollins rulez. Did you see the clip of him talking about the Kill Bill premiere? Legendary. Black Flag 4eva.

Comments are closed.