I Woz ‘Ere, TBH.

(On Hiatus Like The Cosby Mysteries)

So I think me and WordPress are done for a while, guyz. I might resurrect it or go back here, in a few months, but for now I am giving blogging a rest for various reasons.

”Why? I cannot say. Where? You mustn’t know. How? Eh, haven’t decided yet.”

But don’t worry! I can still be found on flickr, on tumblr, on twitter, on Donner, on Blitzen etc. Basically, I’m steadily making my way through all the social networking sites of the earth. Huzzah!

Look at my tumblr! Wow!

I’ve deleted my first blog (itslikeyeahmotherfucker.blogspot.com), so if you still have that link on your blog, please please update to this one, it would be great I might even cry.

My Favourite Entries or ‘When I Wasn’t Shit

My favourite blog entries, in no particular order. I was going to do this with articles but the thought of dredging them all up made me drowsy.

The Hipster Guide To Writing A Blog

Best Of Da Chat Log Years 1, 2, 3 and 4

Why NME is shit

Why the movie ‘Glitter’ is shit

Why Hollywood Records is shit

I played WoW 1, 2 and 3

Social Life? CBF TBH (Lets Watch Movies!)

Skins S3 broke my heart :c

My brush with the Jonas Brothers; Fame

Top ten ways to pass time at work

How to break up with your best friend

Laugh at my horrible taste in music; Part 2; (Readers try to justify their own horrible tastes in music)

TV Shows of yesteryear and why we should all file a class action against Aaron Spelling’s next of kin.

Eurovision ’09

Can I get SRS for a minute?

Thank you so much to everyone who wrote to me, left me comments, sent me mp3s, put my name up for blog awards (?!), linked me, read what I wrote and let me read your blogs. U guyz rule. If an awkward, misanthropic nerd can be liked on the internet, well, its proof that dreams really do come true.

If you want to read a blog that isn’t shit click on any of the links below in the links section omg what will you find!

I Don’t Care If You Wouldn’t, I WouldLess Bright Eyes, More Deicide , Jamie Taete, The Martorialist, The Imaginary Reviewer, Dirty Dirty Laundry, Trashforce Reaper, Comme Des Fuckdown, Luxirare!

Esp the aforementioned bloggers, raising my proverbial crunk goblet in your honour.

In a while, crocodile.

❤ ❤ ❤

Red Bull and the Internet. Like Coffee and TV 4.0 EXTREME.

(Plz watch this video plz okay thnx. Amazing.)

On Kanye’s recent gaff;

Amy oh gosh. says: i want someone to edit the footage of kanye at the vmas so that its in slow motion and ‘the world’s greatest’ is the backing track

Amy oh gosh. says: want someone to make this happen

On Glastonbury Tickets;

Ash /|\ says: if I dont have one by then, I am going to phone up and go mental

Ash /|\ says: not even speak coherently on the phone, just a load of shouted phrases and words which dont make sense

Amy oh gosh.  says: XD

Amy oh gosh. says: say you were ian curtis’ secret love child

Amy oh gosh. says: and if they don’t approve you, you and glastonbury, you’re fucking done, professionally

Ash /|\ says: glastonbury is a good festival, a good festival, but it doesn’t cut it when it bullshits around like this Continue reading

Videos on a blog. The Final Frontier

I have over 600 videos in my favourites on youtube. Here are some of my favourite favourites. Uh. Enjoy.

Yo Gabba Gabba is this fucking bad ass kid’s show that comes on Nick Jr. Its like an alt version of Sesame Street, or a subtle indoctrination scheme to turn your kids into the sort of people who only  appreciate American Apparel and irony. They’ve had people on like Amy Sedaris, Chromeo, Of Montreal, Money Mark, Jack Black, Mates Of State, The Roots and my personal favourite, because inside I am a socially awkward 13 year old boy who doesn’t understand why people keep laughing at his fedora, The Aquabats. The video above is from a section of the show when Biz Markie teaches children how to beat box. I think you should watch it. And if that doesn’t tickle you, here is Biz Markie teaching children how to beat box, wearing a cape and a felt headpiece shaped like a vampire bat. <3.

Henry Rollins on Electro and DJing. As far as I am concerned anything Henry Rollins has to say is gold anyway. Bonus; watch him beat the shit out of an overenthusiastic fan in his Black Flag days. Such a ledge.

Best. Commercial. Ever.

Needs no further introduction. Poor Reggie. Poor, poor Reggie.

NYC Prep is this reality show about rich teens at sub-standard Private Schools in New York, which I have been watching religiously. The main players are P.C (a gay guy so deep in the closet he has practically found Narnia), Jessie (his potato-faced hag hiding her obvious infatuation behind a thin veneer of blase, bitchy world-weariness), Camille, (the Dorothy Parker of the group, who may be the only person in the world more sarcastic and unnecessarily bitter than me) and Sebastian, (a slow witted young turk, solely interested in awkwardly attempting to get to second base with as many jaded, emotionally uninvested young JAP ‘socialites’ as possible, before the clock strikes midnight on his already receding hairline). It rules!

If you are into photography or film and haven’t checked out Tyler Shields, I strongly suggest you do so, some of his stuff is amazing.

The end times are apparently pretty close and should they actually happen I feel this would serve as an accurate depiction of humanity.

Lazy Edit yay! New videos! Everything must go!

Heidi Montag puts on her ‘musical artist’ hat and in a perfect impersonation of Britney circa ’03, lip syncs her way through a fairly standard pop number i.e a thinly veiled invite to her vagina (sampling Yaz no less). Par for the course these days tbh, I’m yawning into my Red Bull. But wait!

In the full length version of this song Spencer Pratt proves he is more than a coddled man child protectively swathed in Ed Hardy and delusions of grandeur by briefly attempting to rap (”Lay my eyes on a sassy pearl/Heidi Montag/Yeah, that’s my girl”). This deeply embarrassing gaff genuinely made me consider watching The Hills, despite the fact that I still can’t understand what the hell its meant to be about, in the hopes that they filmed him recording it. I can think of no better endorsement.

My friend and I are in constant disagreement about The Mars Volta. He thinks they are musical geniuses, I think they are pretentious douchebags noodling incompetently on their instruments then selling the results to stoned freshers and burnouts disguised as ‘prog rock’. I mean;

”A half mass commute through umbilical blisters
Spector will lurk
Radar has gathered
Midnight nooses from boxcar cadavers”

Seriously, what the fuck? I didn’t even deliberately look for lyrics this fucking stupid, they are from the first title I randomly clicked on. It reads like it was written by a 14 year old in a ‘YOU’RE THE WEIRD ONE’ t-shirt. Which pretty much sums up most of their efforts. Not that you can even fucking understand what the lead singer is actually saying, since he seems to consider every recorded moment wasted unless he is deeply immersed in high pitched ‘experimental’ screeching, like a cat in heat. Anyway. This is the one Mars Volta song that doesn’t make me want to drive a Bic deep into my own eardrums. This is my call for a truce. They are not all bad. Just 99.9% of the time.

And that’s the end of that chapter.